Intel starts believing in Father Christmas

A MOST REMARKABLE press release from Intel reveals that Chipzilla has, like Saul, had a blinding flash of light on the road to Damascus and has gotten some kind of religion.

A press release tells us that Intel is giving Santa a "digital boost", and that a laptop in Lapland "saves Santa thousands in sleigh fares". Santa (pictured below) apparently uses an Intel Centrino processor and wi-fi to go down lums this Yule and deliver gifts for geeks.

Santa, according to the blurb, used his notebook to buy champagne for Mrs Smith, shortbread for Mr Smith, a Dr Who box set for John Smith junior and Nike trainers for Jane Smith juniorette, as well as tea for Granda and Granny Smith. Which sort of makes sense, except Intel says that it takes an average of 30 clicks of a mouse for Santa to buy [surely fabricate? Ed.] "the Jones family these gifts". Surely some familial mistake.

This is all well and good and oh so jolly, but may we refer our learned fiends to Inside Intel (Harper Collins, 1997) by Tim Jackson, page 54 where it's alleged Andy Grove told his secretary Sue McFarland: "'Christmas Day is a holiday', he said, 'but Christmas Eve is a workday. I came back to find you absent. In future, I'll expect you and everyone else in the company to stay at work until our normal closing time'". Ho ho ho. µ