Oi! Microsoft! People who live in ivory towers shouldn't...

UNLIKE MOST OF THE GENTLEFOLK of the IT Press, I've always tried to avoid automatically reaching for the vitriol when writing about Microsoft. I'm old enough to remember - and to have forgotten again - a time when IBM was universally-reviled by computer hacks due to its dominant position in the industry. Oh how we laugh each time a ten year old hack deliberately writes "M$" instead of "MS".

Microsoft certainly does things wrong but it also does a lot of things right, otherwise it wouldn't have a 115% market share of the world software and OS market (M$ figures, haha). But this time even my fabled patience has been stretched beyond its limit.

Windows and Office XP like to call up their relatives at Redmond every few hours to see if a bug fix or security patch are available. Up until recently I've regarded this as a sensible move, ensuring Joe Public's system is as stable and hack-proof as possible.

But there's a catch.

MS sees no problem in accessing the web whenever an app is launched or when the system boots up. Snug in its ivory tower in downtown Seattle, MS assumes that everyone has unmetered, fast Internet access. They don't.

Having the temerity to live in the middle of nowhere, 20 miles from Oxford, I can't get broadband ( see Unreasons passim). Until a week or so ago, I did have unmetered ISDN access, but now BT has decided to impose a limit to the number of hours its users can be connected before calls are charged for. I had been in the comfortable position of letting the machines here connect as and when they felt like it, but now find myself having to unplug the router machine at night or when I go out to the pub to avoid incurring BT charges just because a new version of MSN Messenger (which I don't use) is available for download.

You could argue (and indeed, I have) that this is all BT's fault. But it isn't really. MS is to blame for assuming everyone on the planet can connect to the Internet effectively for free and making all its products Web-centric. Pity the poor user with one phone line and a 28K modem whose phone is constantly engaged when his granny tries to call because his machine is trying to download a 20Mb service pack.

Wake up at the back there, Intel
Intel too is guilty of ivory tower syndrome. During the couple of years I worked for Chipzilla, we had a meeting in sunny uptown Munich every few months where internal Intel PR bunnies from across Europe were shown the technological wonderments coming down the track. One such upcoming breakthrough was the Processor Serial Number (PSN) built into the Pentium III, or Katmai as it was then known. The PSN was introduced, we were informed by a beaming product manager, following requests from PC makers to make asset control easier for large corporates.

Almost alone, I threw my hands up in despair, pointing out that conspiracy freaks worldwide would see it as an invasion of privacy, almost certainly leading to knocks on the door in the night and black helicopters hovering outside their windows. No no no, smiled Mr Katmai. It'll be fine.

That it patently wasn't fine is illustrated by the complete absence of PSNs on all current Intel processors, following months of hysterical screaming and legalling by paranoid pressure groups, Intel backed down. PSN was never a threat to anyone's privacy, but Intel's lack of foresight, assuming everyone would see things their way, was crass stupidity, born in an ivory tower in Santa Clara.

As my old granny used to say: "People who live in ivory towers shouldn't make software or chips." Or, at least, that's what I think she said. µ

Yet more Unreasonableness:
BBC should get off its backside
System on a chip? Duck à l'orange, more like
Confusion all round as Celeron heads for the gulag
£7M UK technology centre can't get broadband