- Tuesday, 17 November 2009
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We cannot renounce the use of force otherwise a peaceful reunification would be impossible - China's Jhian Xemin on Taiwan
Microsoft patent aims to stamp out rudeness
MODERN TECHNOLOGY is making us forget our manners apparently. And who better to sort us all out than the Vole which is showing off its new patent for manner-enforcing technology?
Yes, Mightysoft is fed up of people (you know who you are), talking loudly on their mobile phones in theatres, cinemas, public transport and libraries. The Vole wishes to put an end to irritating and discourteous flash photography in places clearly signposted “no flash photography”. And as for locker rooms? Well, Microsoft has had it up to its eyeballs with you pranksters taking rude photos to post online.
Ars Technica reports that in order to whip us rude boys (and girls) into shape, Microsoft has filed for a patent on something called "digital manners policy" (DMP). The patent outlays plans for technology which could be implanted into a plethora of electronic devices to ensure compliance with rules and etiquette.
For example, the technology would be able to automatically switch cell phones to vibrate mode in a cinema, or disable camera’s in sensitive security areas. The patent even goes as far as saying that the technology could be used “in particular zones to limit the speed and/or acceleration of vehicles, to require the use of lights, to verify an indication of insurance coverage and/or current registration, or the like.”
The patent abstract notes that the polite-ness enforcing technology could go a long way in dealing with “security and privacy concerns resulting from mobile devices, such concerns ranging from unintentional rudeness to critical security and privacy matters”. Unintentional rudeness?
We at the INQ always take great pains to be rude on purpose. Now, where did I leave my copy of 1984…? µ
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jeeeeeeeeez WTF, when are these peeps gonna but out and mind their own furkin businesses, its bloody 'clockwork orange' stuff, how about a tazer belt if you drop a fag end on the street !!! 

DMP, hmmmmmmmm, sounds like modded/ported DRM to me !!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Microsoft is double-plus ungood. ;)
This is another application for a patent on an idea. What a useless waste of time. 

Hey I'm designing technology to wipe my ass. It could be used to wipe my mouth, nose or brow too. It might be used in embedded devices and my personal wiping data and history will be transmitted to every wiping device whenever I am in range. Thus allowing maximum wiping coverage without overwiping. I'm designing built in redundancy for maximum uptime, always on internet connectivity, and unique identifier codes to make sure devices know when they are wiping a man or a woman. A distinction that will be very important with this technology. In fact I'm exploring adding a shaker technology too. Then we will call it the wiper and shaker. It will probably be adopted in every home and will be crucial to big business in an increasingly competitive landscape.

WHERE'S MY PATENT??

Secondary patents will be needed for wiper and shaker devices.
CCTV is listening to my dental fillings.
We should know better than to talk in church.
These chips put into posts along any road could be used to enforce speed limits.

They could also be used for other things that generate large sums of money, but then I'll have my own patent to write for those! ;-)
Personally, I'd rather just have anyone who has their cell phone ring inside a theatre be executed on the spot. Then it'd get rid of the owner as well as the nuisance.
Sounds like Big Brother and the Thought Police. 1984 the movie kicked a.
How can this be patentable when it's been done before? It's nothing more than Location Awareness Technology where coded low power transmitters can be installed in theatres, restrooms, etc. that a compliant phone can detect as a trigger to perform an action, such as switch profiles, or turn on/off certain functions.