I'm going to case mod the INQ Segway

SO, I WON A SEGWAY. No, really I did. I can tell you honestly that my first thought was holy excrement euphemism, I won a Segway! My second thought was what the fornication euphemism am I going to do with a Segway?

That is where you come in dear readers. My friends all are rather myopic in their outlook, and say that I should simply Ebay it and go on a week long Diet Coke and Doritos bender. That lacks style and class though, but it is an option.

While waiting for the truck to arrive with the ultimate geek war wagon, I have been thinking and practicing. The thinking is about what I am going to do with it, the practice is about how I am going to do it. As you can see, below, I am about to do the Segway equivalent of an 'ollie' over my Gauntlet II machine with my practice Segway. If anyone reading this works on the Tony Hawk games, please tell me how many points I will score if I pull it off without damaging the Tempest machine.

So, without further sidetracking, I bring you the latest INQ contest, where you can win an autographed nothing. The contest is called 'What should Charlie do with his Segway'. So far, there are four contenders, all of which sound good on the surface. They are, in no particular order:

1) Ebay. Yes, the coward's way out. Also the poor person's way out. I am poor.

2)A) A pirate flag. I plan to putting one of those dorky bike flags to good use. I could also wear an eye patch and drive around the neighborhood yelling 'Aaaaarh!' at all the neighbours and any cats and dogs that I see. They will no longer wonder about me, they will know.
B) Instead of a pirate flag, I could put the flag Marvin Martian planted in the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Double the cash winnings if you win the contest and correctly identify what the flag was.

3) Case mod it. If neon nights work magic on a ratbox Honda to make it look 'cool', think of what they will do on a really worthy machine. Blue on one side, red on the other. Those dragon fan guards would make swell spinner rims, and I could gold plate the controls.

4) Sell sponsor space to INQ advertisers. If NASCAR can do it, why can't I? I could be riding around in the Preparation H Segway, powered by ATI, with tires brought to you by Asus. Intel gets a free sticker because it gave me the damn thing. You get the idea, place your bids now PR firms!

So that should give you a taste of the insanity that can ensue from me and my Segway. What are your ideas? Be creative, and win nothing. Guess the flag and win twice nothing. If you don't give ideas generously, the poor Segway will meet a fate worse than death, Ebay. Its fate is in your hands. As usual, the email is at the top of the page, and the contest ends when I feel like it, or when the Segway arrives. Void where prohibited. Open to residents of the US, Canada and the rest of the world. Prizes may be substituted for ones of equivalent cash value. µ