All I want for Christmas is…

AT CHRISTMAS 1956, what I wanted more than anything in the world was a Beano annual and a train set. In 1966, all I wanted for Christmas was a Honda CB750 and Sue Kewley from form 5b. Ten years later and my festive longings were rather more prosaic: a house, a set of saucepans and a new TV.

By the time 1986 came along, my Christmas wish list included a new set of ropes for my narrow boat and a word processor to replace the manual typewriter I was forced to use at Computer Weekly. 1996 was a Christmas for just wishing I was somewhere other than at home in the middle of yet another argument.

In the great scheme of things, it didn't really matter whether I got the train set and Beano annual, but they seemed really important at the time. Sue and the bike were much more fun, although the house and kitchen utensils sadly weren't.

I never did get that word processor, although Reed Business Publishing did fork out for a new typewriter ribbon and bottle of Tipp-Ex. I can't remember if anyone was thoughtful enough to buy me those ropes, but if they did, I apologise and thanks very much. They were great.

The weird one is 1996, and this is really my point: ten years ago I wanted to be a million miles away from my now ex-wife and the feeling was ferociously-mutual. Tomorrow, I'm going to stay at her place over Christmas. We're happily divorced and good friends.

So be careful what you wish for: it either doesn't matter, or it's completely wrong. If you're really unlucky, your wish will be completely wrong and come true.

What's on the list this year? Well, a train set would be nice… µ