Microsoft King gets British Knighthood

WILLIAM GATES, chairman of a company on which the sun never sets, is to be dubbed a knight by a woman who used to be a Emperor of an Empire that claimed the same thing.

Gates will become a Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. It is an honour that dates back to 1917 and requires Sir Bill to provide the reigning Monarch with a poached swan on toast every Boxing Day. He could also be called upon to bring a Lance, a Horse and three yeoman, should Peckham ever be invaded by the French.

Not really, Sir Willy will not even be allowed to be called Sir as he is a member of the rebel colony of tea tax dodgers and not a member of the Commonwealth. Previous owners of the KBE include former president George Bush Senior, the Mayor of New York Rudolph Giuliani, and film director Steven Spielberg.

Foreign Secretary Jack Straw said that Sir Bill deserved his knighthood which was for servicing British industry or something like that.

Gates is one of the most important business leaders of his age, Straw said. "Microsoft technology has transformed business practices and his company has had a profound impact on the British economy."

Although he didn't say if it is a good or bad effect.