Eurocrats swoop on Intel in dawn raid

Kommissar Eurofed: "Right then. These are the cheap-as-chips chips?"

Herr Intellish: "Yah-volts. These are them."

Kommissar Eurofed: "And what makes these crisps as cheap as chips?" 

Herr Intellish: "Free market enterprize capitalistic business activitities. We have costlier chips, if you'd prefer added value. Our top tier comes with a nice cache of chili."

Kommissar Eurofed: "But your competitor does not sell chips-N-chili."

Herr Intellish: "Yah-volts. But they do sell cheap chips. I believe they may also spot a bit of viewner schnitzel."

Kommissar Eurofed: "Is it good viewner schnitzel?"

Herr Intellish: "Yah-volts! We help them viewner schnitzel where they can!"

Kommissar Eurofed: "So you intend to keep selling cheap chips?"

Herr Intellish: "Yah-volts! Our customers have come to expect cheap-as-chips chips. Our chips must be as cheap as everybody elses. If we sell cheap chips, it also helps us to sell chips-N-chili."

Kommissar Eurofed: "Why do you have so many chips here?"

Herr Intellish: "Because we sell chips. We find that one must have chips to sell chips."

Kommissar Eurofed: "But your competitor doesn't have as many chips as you do."

Herr Intellish: "Yah-volts! They do not have as many varieties of chips, either. But they have advertised that their new chips are coming. When they do, we plan to offer chips-N-chili-N-cheese!"

Kommissar Eurofed: "See that you do not sell any chips in volume discounts or cheaper than your competitor. We would not want anyone to be able to afford a chip."

Herr Intellish: "It would be a scandalous collusion to defraud the public of higher prices! Can't our competitor also expect subsidies for their chips? What about the global market?"

Kommissar Eurofed: "Guten Tag!"