Inq, Register "ruined my life"

CLOSE ON THE HEELS of ex-servicemen losing their £100 million damages claim against the UK Government, former top journalist Pete Sherriff today started a High Court legal bid for £10 million damages against top IT news website, The Inquirer and online clothing retailer, The Register, for post-traumatic stress syndrome.

Sherriff, whose coverage of the semiconductor industry was unrivalled [Eh? - Ed] in the later years of the 20th Century, is claiming that media magnate Mike Magee convinced him to leave his highly-paid job at a leading chip maker in return for untold riches.

"I was quite happy leaking the occasional company secret to Magee," sobbed Sherriff earlier today from the secure accommodation wing of the Betty Ffordd Clinic in North Wales. "He promised me fame, fortune and healthy young PR ladies, but all I ended up with was an enlarged liver, acute kidney failure and a collection of amusing beer mats. At no point did he warn me that IT journalism involved 24x7x365 heavy drinking".

Five years on the front line of IT news reporting has taken its toll on Sherriff. A mere shadow of his former self, he now exists in a strange twilight world, neither living nor dead, eking out a meagre living by writing reports on flower shows and planning applications for his local paper, the Ynys Mon Bugle.

"I can understand why judges threw out claims from soldiers that they were upset because they didn't realise that signing up for the armed forces might expose them to actual physical danger and being accidentally blown up by the Americans," added Sherriff. "But as my job description contained no mention of drinking 15 pints and a bottle of whisky a day in the line of duty, I am convinced the law will prove I am in the right."

Pete Sherriff's liver is 64. µ