Oracle profits crash as rabbit appears

LARRY ELLISON'S vehicle, Oracle, posted its financial results last night which showed the company's net profits had fallen 83 per cent to $845.9 million compared to $4.91 billion in the same period last year.

The news was hailed as a victory by Wall Street, because Oracle averted disaster and catastrophe by slashing costs and thereby avoiding dangerous headlines which might affect other stocks and shares.

Those reading The Inquirer will recall that Intel's net profits fell by nearly the same percentage when it filed its Q2 results. It received gentle headlines in some elements of the US press because after all an 82 per cent is not a 100 per cent slump.

That led AMD's guvnor, Jerry Sanders !!!, to say in typical billy gruff terms: "I can't believe how you guys [financial analysts] can ignore that profit slump."

Sure enough, we will see share prices rising some on Wall Street today but the underlying trend is still, well, down.

Oracle's CFO said of the results that he "felt like" things were picking up a bit. Oh good, next thing we'll all be throwing yarrow stalks to see if calendar Q!!! will be better. µ