The Earth Impact Effects Program, which is available at this web address, enables you to tap in the distance from the predicted impact zone, the size and composition of the object, and any extra information, such as impact velocity and angle.
It will then tell you the expected crater size and whether you will burst into flames or be squashed under a ton of rubble.
The program was designed to help scientists throughout the world calculate the effects of a disaster.
However its designers say it could also help hacks when they come to write their Armageddon stories every time an asteroid gets within a million miles of Fleet Street.
Much of the data was obtained from US government nuclear weapons tests. This provided descriptions such as when grass will ignite, when plywood or newspaper will ignite, and when humans will suffer burns.
If a two-mile wide lump of rock hit London it would be heard in Eastern Europe as loudly as loud traffic. However they would be OK provided they survived the largest recorded earthquake in history.
The offices of theInquirer would see a fireball 158.4 times larger than the sun. Everything would catch fire before it was buried under 152.11 ft of debris. I can't think of a better excuse for telecommuting. µ