Dead people must pay to be free from telemarketers

MEMBERS OF society who have the misfortune of being dead, will have the option to opt out of calls from telemarketers.

It must be really hard to rest in peace in the United States, where telemarketers still ring the dead to peddle their wares.

According to the Chicago Sun Times, the Direct Marketing Association, which represents 5,200 businesses and organisations involved in marketing via mail, telephone, e-mail and the mass media, has announced the formation of a Deceased Do-Not-Contact List.

Basically the un-alive have to send a $1 to the outfit that will put them on the list.

Of course if the DMA gets its way and gets that change of law it is hatching with the government, telemarketers will be able to contact the dead people if they have an existing business arrangement.

So they can be called by the undertaker, the graveyard owner, and the person who provided their last suit or dress.

The downside is that the dead will have to pay a $1 to be listed and they tend to need any money that they might have on them to pay the ferryman.

Registration is available on the Internet at this URL. Those using the site must provide a credit card number. They'll be charged a $1 "verification fee" for each person registered. So it is possible to get a whole swarm of the unliving de-registered at the same time.

Of course there is nothing to stop living people from registering as dead if they don't want to receive calls. µ

L'INQ
Chicago Sun Times