Get free wi-fi access if you watch an advert

THE GREAT BRITISH tradition of crap cinema adverts for local businesses could be revived by a benevolent Yank.

Free-Hotspot.com, the imaginatively-titled vendor of free hotspots, is expanding its presence in the UK, primarily because we're behind the rest of the world. "This country has great growth potential," was CEO Dan Toomey tactfully put it.

The firm aims to fund this expansion though advertising. Anyone can get free Internet access, and even phone calls, as long as they're prepared to watch an advert first. And complete a two-question mini-quiz afterwards. At the moment, these are all for cheesy corporate blue chips, anxious to make sure you understand their global brand positioning statement. Or something.

However, as the market evolves, Toomey envisages the advertising will become more localised. If Toomey's market strategy pays off, and restaurants, hotels and pub chains up and down the country agree to host free-hot spots (in order to get more customers through the doors) then the advertising market will evolve. "Adverts could become more localised," said Toomey. This could mean adverts for local builders, perhaps, or the local Tandoori, which you might want to pop into once the cinema closes.

This could revive the grand British tradition of crap commercial for local businesses, which were driven from our cinema screens when Pearl & Dean monopolised the cinema adverting. Poorly scripted and badly acted adverts could become a cult for a new generation of kids who've never experienced them. Except now you can enjoy woodenly narrated "infomercials" while you're sitting in, say, a car dealership waiting for your car to come back from its service. Or a bookshop.

It all depends who the resellers have managed to persuade to host a free hotspot. Networking and comms installers will be the other great beneficiaries of this scheme. Anyone who can plug a cable into a router and do some rudimentary configuring could become a channel partner to Free-Hotspots.com.

You get to make a margin on the installation fee, and get a royalty every time a punter watches an advert. "I'm glad if I can revive a great British tradition," said Toomey, "but my main aim first to build the infrastructure."

If only he could revive a few other British traditions. Like saying ‘film' instead of ‘movie', property instead of real estate and research, instead of reeee-search - one of many words that sounds ludicrous when spoken in a British accent. µ