Mega-grocer makes bid to run country

A SHOP that flogs PCs wants to help the United Kingdom government draft laws, giving additional force to Napoleon Bonaparte’s old adage that England is a nation of shopkeepers.

Egregious megashop Tesco has told the government it wants to give prime minister Gordon “champers” Brown a hand in drafting legislation to reduce the amount of cut price booze it’s selling.

The world has gone stark staring bonkers.

Boney, like Shakespeare, coined a plethora of sayings [shorely slayings, Ed.] including the hackneyed “a picture is worth a thousand words”. Other choice thoughts from the French dictator that became an emperor include “four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets”, “France has more need of me than I have need of France”, and “history is a set of lies agreed upon”.

He is also responsible for the adages “if you want a thing done well, do it yourself”, and “in politics, stupidity is not a handicap”. µ