Boffins claim to have discovered new element

AMERICAN AND RUSSIAN BOFFS are claiming to have discovered a new element - not the fifth element, which has been around for ages and has nothing to do with Bruce Willis - but the 118th element, which is the heaviest substance known to exist ever in the world of everything.

At the moment, the element has been dubbed Ununoctium, which isn't particularly catchy. This is a pretty big discovery though, when you keep in mind the last naturally occuring element in the Periodic Table was discovered in 1925.

The new element was magically created by slinging calcium ions at californium, thereby creating element number One Hundred And Eighteen. It's apparently the fifth ultraheavy element the boffs at their respective institutes (the Lawrence Livermore National Lab in California and the Joint Institute for Nuclear Research in Dubna, Russia) have created, who have been specialising in fixing up rare and short-lived elements.

The teams have created elements 113 through 116 but none of these has been officially recognised, apparently. The next step for the team is to cook up element 120 by bombarding a plutonium target with a beam of iron ions. Iron ions, try say that ten times in a row.

Element 119 is called Ununennium but is yet to be discovered, it seems.

Ununoctium will be placed just below radon in the Periodic Table, much to the dismay of schools across the land who will have to order in new posters.

If you'd like to know more, head on over to the Earth Times. µ