Apple's Iphone keyboard could well be a lemon

VETERAN TECH scribbler, John C. Dvorak is at it again, saying he took a call that indicated the Apple Iphone's soft keyboard will make the device a flop.

You can picture it now, can't you?

SCENE: Night. The DVORAK mansion, United States of You Know Where. A phone rings. DVORAK, wearing pillar-box red pyjamas and a Hugh Hefner-style smoking jacket, lays down his glass of milk and edges a white Siamese cat off his lap to take the call.

MYSTERY CALLER (Mysteriously) The keyboard is a disaster, and people are going to return the phone in droves. I'm guessing 20 per cent will go back.

DVORAK (Trustingly) It's not the scenario I'm predicting. Besides, Jobs said the keyboard is great.

MYSTERY CALLER (Contrarily) No, he didn't. He said that if you 'trust the keyboard you can really fly.' Nobody will get that far. It's frustrating to use.

The MYSTERY CALLER rings off. DVORAK raises an eyebrow and reaches for the laptop.

Of course, there are a couple of problems with this tip. One is that Dvorak is a self-confessed jabber of ribs when it comes to Apple. Two is that every journalist gets mystery callers and, more often, emailers giving tips. Some are gold but a lot of the time, they're like people who offer you racing tips - timewasters or folks who want to appear in the know.

Having said that, if I were compiling a book on the matter, the odds on production/usability problems for the Iphone would be shorter than a short thing that had been taken to the tailor for extra shortening. Despite a series of smasheroonies, Apple's recent form on fit and finish has not been great. Think of the early scratchy screens and battery problems on the Ipod or the disappearing letters on Mac notebook keyboards.

Also, with any design that is first time out, the chances of problems are bound to ratchet up. Keyboard issues? It's entirely possible. I mean, have you ever seen a soft keyboard that is any good at all? And, to shovel salt on ancient wounds, we all with a shudder remember the Newton's stab at usability. µ