4. Disgo 6000 tablet
Of all the presents you might hope not to find under your Christmas tree, this is surely one of the most disappointing.
Not only is this Disgo tablet small, heavy, clunky and have poor battery life, but it has an old version of the Android operating system and no access to the Android store. It has little memory, a very unresponsive screen and draws more Oh's than it does Aaaaah's.
When one of our staff reviewed it he swore that the experience took years off his life, although we cannot say that this is fact.
It is slow to use, has a frustrating touchscreen that can only be effectively used with a stylus, which is included, but that we lost quickly.
On the plus side, we did find that you could use a lollypop stick as a stylus alternative, however this made the case sticky.
The tablet is a cheap affair, but do not be surprised if it fails to fool anyone into thinking it is otherwise. We found it to be hair-tuggingly bad and, horror upon horror, made us yearn for an Ipad.
Price: Around £100
If you like giving presents that are a bit out of the ordinary then you might be thinking the Smellit is a good choice. Dreamed up by French company Olf-action, the Smell-it aims to bring the smell dimension to digital entertainment by wafting different odours in your direction.
To give the contraption some credit, it does look rather stylish with eight little jet engine looking parts mounted on a stand. What's worrying is some of the smells the firm uses for its products include 'naked body' and 'atmosphere hospital'. We imagine your lounge could end up smelling pretty weird after you've finished watching a film.
Luckily the product doesn't appear to be in the shops for sale so you can't go smelling up friends' houses with naked bodies this Christmas. We think this type of thing should be left to the classic scratch and sniff stickers for kids.
2. Itee Ipad T-Shirt
If someone you know owns an Apple Ipad 2 then you might be considering getting them an accessory to go with it. Well here's one to avoid unless you want to risk offending them with your gift choice.
The unisex Itee is a plain looking white or black T-Shirt with an Ipad sized pocket, or pouch, plonked on the front. This means you can easily get access to the shiny gadget instead of doing what most people do and get it out of a bag.
The firm claims the pocket is "almost invisible" and protects the Ipad. We wouldn't like to see what might happen to the tablet if the user happens to fall forwards. It's "perfect for men and women with a digital lifestyle", but we just think it's perfect if you want to look like an idiot. It's also over priced at $39.
1. Mark Zuckerberg doll
In case you have not noticed, Mark Zuckerberg is already well up in your business. His Facebook creation probably knows more about you than your mother does, and more than you would ever want your partner to know.
Why then would you want to draw him even closer into your home? You don't? Oh, well, you could, if you want, or if you want to inflict it on someone else.
This firm, the M.I.C store, has taken the time to make this doll, called Poking Inventor, and offer it for sale for just under $200.
It is not actually named as Mark Zuckerberg, but you can tell it is him from the curls on his head to the sandals on his feet.
Unfortunately for us, or you, or Santa, Facebook stepped in and removed this option from Christmas lists around the globe.
"Facebook has informed us that this item has not consented to the use of Facebook's copyrights and trademarks, therefore they request us immediately to cease the marketing and sale of this item", says a blurb in garbled English on the web site.
Which is a shame. Maybe.
Price: Discontinued, luckily. µ
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