I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson. 

Unfortunately, the "iPhone Loser of the Month" contest has closed for this month. 
Although you missed the deadline, we do truly appreciate your interest in showing the world what a loser you are. 

Based on your submission, we suggest a longer trip and setting your iPhone to check your email every 3 seconds. You might even get bonus points of your use a known criminal underworld proxy server. In any case, you will need to deliver a much higher phone level to cut through the general level of idiocy we are seeing.

If you really really want to be the iPhone Loser of the Month, you have to get a leg up on the other losers. Just like you, they are working hard to figure out how to use their iPhone like an idiot. Remember, although the "i" is already in the phone, you need to focus on being the "i" outside the phone. That is because there are two "i"s in "idiot".

Good luck, next time.

Regards,

Official Loser of the Month Contest
iPhone Contests Unlimited
Box 123456
Orem, UT 40808

I wonder if people are aware that, gee, pop3 logins are done in the clear with plain-text logins and passwords travelling through the wires. 

Now this might be a non-issue if you're on a wired network using a wired ISP (say, DSL). But when you're on a mobile network things suddenly are worse...

Plus, when you're roaming, you're on another country's / operator's data network.
Fear the Great Chinese Password Sniffer, yet?

who cares.

Our phone company charged me international fare for local (plus the service fee) and the double that to call international!