Nick Naylor: Gentlemen, practice these words in front of the mirror: Although we are constantly exploring the subject, currently there is no direct evidence that links cell phone usage to brain cancer.

I split a nail!

This is why women need excessive amounts of cosmetic products. They are constaly using their mobile phones!!

The phones ruin their naturally perfect skin. This also applies to their faces.

I'll make sure my wife knows about this. When the results are out she might manage to actually pay for all those products via lawsuit.


P.S.

We'll donate 10% of the winnings to the inquirer for their part in this.

Unless you don't agree that there's biologically damaging radiation coming from mobiles, then it is obvious that it's going to fry whatever body part it's near to. The safest ones will be hands-free models since they aren't in direct contact with you at all.

My paw is aching a little.

lol.
Yeah right, they are worried about the mobile phones performance.
what about the already evident performance degradation of the user (ref.. any Crackberry abuser).
maybe they will find that for optimum performance a 100% decoupling with the user is required. (works for me ;p)

In the meantime, i'm all for the ultra mobile 100% remote decoupling devices from china (the one with the little on/off switch). 
Perfect for the id10t shouting 'Hello i'm on the.....'(network that don't work no more round here)

Sorted! :)