THE BRITISH government should make another step towards establishing more freedom for its citizens by taking DNA from primary school kids who teachers think might cause a bit of trouble when they grow up.

According to the Guardian, any little toe-rag who misbehaves could be swabbed and stuck in the national DNA database.

The idea is being pushed by Gary Pugh, director of forensic sciences at Scotland Yard and the new DNA spokesman for the Association of Chief Police Officers.

He thinks that if a kid misbehaves at school they could go on to a life of crime. Sticking them in the database will save coppers a lot of time.

Currently, Blighty has the largest collection of genetic samples in Europe, but coppers want to see the database extended.

Part of the problem is that they have not been sampling the right sort of people. Most of the database is full of people who refuse to commit crimes. Criminals have been a little unhappy about going into the database so Pugh's idea is to catch them and force them to make a deposit before they have made that career choice.

What he fails to understand is that misbehaving in school and getting yourself swabbed will be an instant status symbol for the little yobs.

Then there is the problem that the people who assess your criminality will be school teachers. Many of whom have started their jobs straight from school and know little of the real world.

One of mine was convinced that everyone under the age of 16 was a 'tiny terrorist' and caned a whole classroom as a disciplinary measure. Now that path is illegal he would have swabbed every kid on the first day. µ

L'Inq
Guardian